#1000wordsofsummer, Day 3
Did I ever tell you the story of your second birthday and how you ended up on time-out for most of the day? You told everyone to shut-up and you threw your cake at me and your father.
You were in yet another brand new frilly dress one of your grandmothers must have gotten you - I swear I didn't have to buy you any new clothes until you were probably ten years old, that’s how much they spoiled you, especially my mother after we left your father for good. You were the first granddaughter on both my and your father's side, you see, so you were the center of everyone's attention for years.
Anyway, more and more guests showed up and you were getting all the attention with even more gifts and your father or I said something to you about not playing with your new toys until after you had cake and your eyes got so big — they were so beautiful, your eyes, when you were born I cried because you looked like a little Black Snow White — and you said just clear as day, ‘No, shut up!’
There were gasps and silence for a long time just because we were all so shocked. And shocked by so many things at once — that you said what you said. That you said it to grown folks. That you said it to grown folks so unabashedly. That you knew the words and how to use them in the proper tones and connotation. That you used it completely accurately!
So then I said, ‘Linda, what did you just say?’ I wasn’t confused — maybe everyone else was but I sure wasn’t, I knew my baby — but I asked because I knew you understood it was serious if I asked you to repeat yourself. It was also a generous way of letting you reconsider your next steps. Which you either didn’t do or you did and just decided to go all in because you went on repeating it, and this time you grew some bass in your voice and sounded frustrated as if to say, ‘Did I stutter?’ So now, of course, your grandmother on my side, threw her head back raising her hands in the air,
‘Toni, I told you once, I’ma tell you again that child needs to be slapped! I raised five chirren and never once in my life I ever seen such disrespect and bad behavior! And from a lil thing barely been on earth but a second..’ and all that, you remember how she’d carry on, saying how you had to be snatched before you went hog wild. To this day I will never know exactly what going hogwild was or looked like but I knew it was not a right way to be.
I kneeled down to look at you eye — not everyone was doing that back then but I was studying for my early education Masters and read all the new books like Dr. Spock and it’s important to meet babies where they are. When I was running the new moms clinic I would tell them to get on the floor and look at the world from their children’s point of view.
Anyway, I knelt down and I made sure to touch you when I said, ‘Well, Linda, we don't speak like that to each other and we don't talk like that to grandma.’ To which you said, ‘No, you be quiet, Mommy!’ as if switching to the tamer version would win back favor. Nope, after that, your father scooped you up, and we both took you to your room and plopped you in your crib. ‘Linda, you're on time-out now and you're going to stay on time out until you’re ready to apologize. Do you understand what I said?’ I knew you did.
By this time you were having a full on fit, screaming, and you started to untie the mattress strings on your crib. Your father looked very alarmed and I had to let him know this was something you did regularly just like you would unscrew the tops to your bottles and sippy cups when in protest. I went to your crib, ‘Linda if you tear up your crib that’s fine but you’re still on time out and you’re going to miss your own birthday party. Just because it’s your birthday does not mean you can act up.’ You looked at me with those big gorgeous eyes and it took everything in me not to just grab you and squeeze you and bury my face in your big Black cloud of hair.
Instead, I watched as you blew a raspberry before saying ‘Shut up’ once more. '
Your father looked so horrified and blurted out, ‘Well, she’s just a fool’ and I found that to be hilarious for some reason and I burst out in a giggle fit. Anyone who’s ever been around a tantruming toddler knows laughter is the worst thing you can do. Your little round face just got redder and you wailed even louder.
We went back downstairs to the party — it was mostly adults anyway and one of us would go check on you every 15 minutes or so. Each time we'd ask ‘Linda, are you ready to apologize? Do you want to come back with Mommy and Daddy?’ and you'd calmly say "No" or you'd repeat to us to be quiet. Sometimes, one of your grandmothers would go check and they’d come down shaking their heads, muttering, ‘child has no goddamn sense..’ and I would just silently pray they hadn’t said that to you.
‘Hi baby, just checking on you one more time. Mommy loves you and I’m here when you’re ready to behave.’
‘You shut up Mommy!’
Of course, you know what happened. You just fell asleep. I went up and there you were, hair all mashed on your brown face, your dress half up and half down, your diaper on display. There were so many times I’d just stay there, watching you rest, wondering which angels you were speaking to in your dreams.
Well, that's how you spent your second birthday on time-out. That wasn’t the last time you’d try to cuss your family out either. Folks would be so shocked, too, when it happened.
Not me, though. Peaceful as you’d look when you were sleeping, you’d still sometimes shake those little balled up fists. As if you weren’t finished making your point before we snatched you from the angels and into this violent world.